by Joseph Perry and Mike Imboden
In our “The Good, the Bad, and the Verdict” film reviews, both Joseph and Mike give their thoughts on a slice of cinema. For this installment, it’s Uncork’d Entertainment’s creature feature Croc!.
In British creature feature Croc!, Lisa King (Sian Altman) can’t wait to get married to Charlie (George Nettleton), with her father Dylan (Mark Haldor) giving her away — after he scores with the wedding site’s hostess. On the eve of the big day, Charlie sneaks off to a shed with one of the bridesmaids for a little pre-wedding hanky panky, but the large, hungry-for-humans crocodile that viewers met earlier on puts a bloody end to that tryst. The wedding party becomes a buffet for the ravenous beast, but Dylan is a wildlife expert and some of his skills have rubbed off on Lisa. Who, if anyone, will survive?
The Good
Joseph: This is a lower-budget shlock ‘n’ shock that boasts quite a bit of fun but also a fair share of cheesiness. It certainly follows the tropes of the killer crocodile/alligator movies that came before it, with a bit of softcore hot-tub action and fully clothed “beast with two backs” action thrown in for good measure. The acting ranges from solid — Altman rules as the bride-to-be who has several reasons to be angry about her wedding day being ruined — to, well, softcore-actor level. The special effects also range in quality, with some of the CGI crocodile attack scenes coming off quite nicely but others looking a bit rough (some of the human-in-croc’s-mouth munching, for instance). The practical makeup effects look impressively gruesome.
Mike: Croc! manages to engage the viewer thanks to its simple premise, wild situations, and absurd over-the-top action. The CGI is decent enough for the most part and while some of the croc’s kills come off camera, those that are on display are fun. The acting isn’t bad overall and even when it isn’t you can tell that the actor is giving their all to their character.
The Bad
Joseph: You’ll need to use your willing suspension of disbelief quite often with Croc!; for example, don’t bother questioning why Dylan’s cell phone reception worked perfectly earlier on but suddenly no one’s does. Don’t bother asking how Dylan can run around rather spryly after the crocodile bites his leg, and how one of the bridesmaids didn’t notice the bite, even though it was fully exposed and they were walking around the grounds together, until Dylan points it out. And definitely don’t bother puzzling over how a crocodile came to be in rural England in the first place, because that gets a tongue-in-cheek question with no answer in the film. Regarding performances and special effects, see above.
Mike: Anyone who has been waiting for another flick like 1980’s Alligator better be prepared to wait a little longer. Right out of the chute, no explanation is given as to why a crocodile (a very large one, at that) is living in England. Not even a “It must’ve gotten loose from the new zoo!” Similar Injuries are life-threatening to some, and merely flesh wounds for others, and instead of thinking of ways to get in stay inside away from the beasts, these clowns think of ways to run outside. A movie like this requires some suspension of disbelief, but shouldn’t ask for a total ignoring of it.
The Verdict
Joseph: I would rate Croc! As middle-of-the-pack aquatic creature feature fare — not as bad as SyFy’s worst offerings but certainly not up to the standards of Crawl or The Pool. Worth a watch when you are in the mood for what I have described above.
Mike: There are certainly far worse movies out there involving crocodiles (or gators, large or small, normal or monstrous), so this isn’t without some merits. If your standards aren’t too high and you enjoy watching CGI spray all over the place, you’ll probably dig Croc!
Croc! received a DVD and digital release from Uncork’d Entertainment on October 4, 2022.
Croc!
Directed by: Paul W. Franklin
Written by: Paul W. Franklin
Produced by: Jagged Edge Productions
Genre: horror
Starring: Sian Altman, Mark Haldor, George Nettleton
Runtime: 1 hour 24 minutes
Rated: NR
Release Date: October 4, 2022