"Dead Clowns" (2004)

by Mike Imboden

Normally here at “The Good, the Bad, and the Verdict”, both Joseph and Mike give their thoughts on a slice of cinema. However, here and there they will be taking the reins in a solo outing. For this installment, it’s Mike with a solo review of the 2004 “horrific thriller”, Dead Clowns.

Synopsis

The residents of Port Emmett prepare for a hurricane that will churn up a 50-year-old secret, awakening an army of zombie clowns. Left to die after a circus train accident, the clowns rise from their muddy graves to get revenge. The guilty can run, but they can’t hide from the truth – or the undead.

The Good

Dead Clowns has a fairly inspired plot and some pretty good makeup work that makes the titular clowns look pretty gnarly. Also, hurricane stock footage aficionados will love this.

The Bad

There is no main character in this movie. When you think there is, you are proven wrong as they are stalked, killed and eaten. Case in point. In the first act the backstory of the dead clowns is revealed by a woman whose father was the person who inadvertently caused the death of a train car full of clowns. This sort of implies that maybe she is the main character. She is not. She is promptly killed. Later in the film someone else provides their own version of the events and then THEY are killed. So, yeah - characters are introduced. That's it. They are introduced. We learn very little, if anything, about them. Then they are killed.

It seems that the word “consistency” was not a concern when making Dead Clowns. Early in the movie there is a "time stamp" that appears to show us progression. It starts at like 1:15pm, the next time it's 2:45pm, and so on. After using this device a handful of times, it is promptly forgotten and never used again. The sound quality is horrible, requiring you to change the volume up and down every scene change, and sometimes within the same scene. The "zombie" clowns move slowly, like zombies often do, but they also have fine motor skills and the ability to wield weapons. They are very methodical in their stalking of the victims. They open doors, peek inside, and move along, leaving you unsure as to what exactly is being dealt with here. Consistency, man - look that #@$& up.

The Verdict

Avoid this film unless you are die hard fans of Brinke Stevens and Debbie Rochon and need to fill out a Bingo card of their body of work. Other than that there’s not much beyond the concept (which is, admittedly, pretty cool even though it seems somewhat vaguely inspired by The Fog). Dead clowns come back to life to wreak havoc on the town that brushed their tragic death under the carpet. In more capable hands, with some serious script revisions, this could have been a pretty effective and interesting movie. As it stands, once you get beyond the concept and a likely unintentional homage to Fulci's Zombi in one spot involving a meat thermometer, there isn’t much to get excited about here.

Dead Clowns is apparently not available to stream anywhere at the moment (which might be for the best).

Dead Clowns